5

we are packed! we fit most of what we think we want in London in our 8 suitcases. the rest goes to Matt & Beth's tomorrow. it's supposed to rain.
in the process of packing, we ended up giving away lots of stuff. probably half our clothes, one of our cars, a crib, and probably some other stuff i can't even remember 'cuz it wasn't all that important to me in the first place. but i've kinda got this weird feeling about the whole thing. almost like i want a pat on the back for giving that much stuff away; or maybe i just want to see that other people are being blessed by our giving. like all the stuff we gave to the thrift store...i don't know first-hand of anyone who's life has been significantly impacted by that store. i know lots of people have been deeply impacted, but I don't know them personally. or maybe i just feel like we gave all this stuff away, and it doesn't really feel like much of a sacrifice.
i've got a few thoughts from the bible floating around. first, Jesus often encouraged his followers to hold their possession loosely, and to give liberally to the poor. second, he promised that those who cling to him and walk in his ways will bear much fruit. those promises seem to have some bearing here. also, in the book of Matthew especially, Jesus talks about his kingdom being made up of "little ones". maybe giving isn't supposed to be a big deal. maybe that's the point.
anyway, that's what's bouncing around in my head at the moment, trying to grapple with those feelings and hold them up to the light of Jesus and what life in his Kingdom should be.